After the Rain

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but by the Spirit.

Maybe the rain has blinded me. I have not thanked you for a very long time. Perhaps not even giving you much thought for so long. Forgive me for neglecting you.

I realised that I'm fair-weathered. I cling on to you and your precepts only in the rain. Your umbrella is a extended canopy that blocks out all my troubles; and you are the Lord Almighty. But I've forsaken you when the storm is gone. I act pai kia, act rough, begin delighting in crude jokes, use vulgarities, play around like there's no tomorrow... i know it seems okay with everyone else, no one really cares; in fact it seems that a well of pressure around which continuously circulates, carrying all sorts of bad habits which i willingly and foolishly absorb and integrate with my being.

No God. I know i was not made to live life like that. You told me time and time again from your word, that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

You told me Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

You told me Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

You told me Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see you.

You told me Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

You told me Blessed are those who are persecuted, because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.

But i am none of these which you said. I have heard, but clearly i have not listened. And I am filled with remorse.

I thank You Lord for pulling me through all the winds and the torrential rain. Promos are over. There's a whole road ahead of me. Thank you for helping me get back in the swing of things for canoeing. Thank you for giving me a great family and good friends. Mom told me that my eldest uncle was exploiting his eldest son, getting him to work in the hawker stall and taking most of his earnings. What kind of father is that? And yet, my own father, is working everyday from 9-9, striving hard to support the family. God, thank you for giving me such a great dad and mom, and a close knit family which i never appreciated. Thank you for all the things physical. Thank you for being my guide in life, thank you for blessing me thus much.

Contrite.